Shock comes with another cobaan…

SHOCK !!!

Pagi ini gue berdarah lagi… merah tua! Instict gue mengatakan something bad, tapi hati gue deny… So I ignore… and went teaching…

Saat berada di kelas I felt like bleeding a lot.. more than just a regular period.. Perut gue bagian bawah juga sakit banget… So I had to cancel my class. I went to first floor and told Ade that I couldn’t teach coz I had to go to my Doctor.. Tadi saat gue nelpon suster Kristin, she said I might have contraction… gue antara pesimis dan optimis kalo kandungan gue baik-baik aja…

Diantar Ina gue ke dokter. Antara panik dan mencoba tenang gue berzikir di mobil… padalah tadi malam gue sholat tahajud lagi… (Walau bleeding, gue ngga perduli. Mandi dan sholat aja, minta tolong ma Allah diberikan yang terbaik!) sampai disana gue dan Ina nunggu bentar. I begged her to go inside the doctor’s room with me…

And there you go… the bad news… inseminasi gagal…!!!!!!!!! Gue histeris dan stress.. dunia berputar2 antara gelap dan terang, gue hampir pingsan… karena stress Asthma gue kumat..cry hard, so hard sampe gue ngga perduli orang-orang ngeliatin gue… and I was wondering… Allah, why this is happening to me… Doctor called the nurses to get me an oxigen for me to breath coz I couldn’t at all!!! They moved me to another room and ngasih gue obat penenang dan teh panas… Ina tried to comfort me… also suster Kristin… setelah tenang gue akhirnya di perbolehkan pulang.

Dalam perjalanan pulang ke kantor I called my mom… I was so sad.. she comforted and supported me… I felt so blessed…

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