Oppressed

masih seperti masa kecil, feeling oppress masih gue rasakan di rumah…  alhamdulilah for having siblings yang kompak… the feeling of a heavy burden paling engga lebih ringan-nan lah… walau masih sesak gue rasa di dada…

why would she do such ways after all this years… now that papa gone, I am happy that his burden sets free.. he’s in heaven.. menikmati segala reward (pahala) dari amal ibadah dan pengorbanan-nya selama di dunia… I miss him… and love him…
in my mind yesterday… I kept thinking about her…
why dia selalu bad mood, why dia selalu cranky, why dia selalu angry, why dia selalu rude, why dia selalu overly sensitive and sometimes manipulative… why the bully, abusive, the OPPRESS..!
when good mood, dia selalu generous, caring and giving, sometimes loving.. why too contradict… too extreme, too moody… insane.. the feeling I have since I was little… tapi gue mencintainya… dan mengharapkan doa restunya… 
aku sedih… terlalu sedih, dan aku pun bisa gembira… terlalu gembira…
baliknya hanya satu… hanya ke Allah…
*menerawang…

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